Ain’t it hard? Believing the theology you know about suffering when you are actually in consistent suffering? Sometimes you do not even want to hear the verses you once quoted to a saint in trouble : that the present sufferings cannot be compared to the eternal weight of glory, it is all working out for our good and His glory.
Trouble knocked at my door once I stood on these truths, second, fourth and tenth time, my faith was shaken. I was sinking as the storm raged more angrily. Some nights I did not have any prayers to say but these,” Father, I will rest in You tonight.” My dear Father in His goodness watched over me as I slept and was with me as I woke.
As the sea billows rolled I couldn’t keep my hold on Him but He abode by me. My Father kept His promise. The one He made in Isaiah 41:10 : I will strengthen you, I will uphold you with my victorious righteous hand. I couldn’t even keep His command of not being afraid but even then He kept His promise, Heb 13:5 I will never leave you nor forsake you. Faithful. Isn’t he?
Though I still have questions unanswered, and God’s sovereignty is scary at the moment,I’m comforted in all of His other attributes that are so inseparable from His sovereignty. He’s good and loving, oh so loving and faithful altogether.
When I’m tempted to doubt His love, I look at the cross and think “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all… ” Romans 8:32 to save me from His wrath: there is nothing I see but a proclamation of love in the hills from a Groom to His bride.
When I’m tempted to doubt if He still cares I think of “…Christ Jesus… is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us ” Romans 8:34 That God would not destroy us because of our sinfulness, that we would get through these trials faithfully and that our faith be proven to be true. There is exceeding care in a God who prays for his children to His Father.
The storm may persist longer but, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us. Rom 8:37. After these trials Christ will present me before God blameless, glorified, sanctified and all His work will be completed in me so I’ll sing these promises through the storm, let me hear it more than the sound of thunder and oh that it would be written permanently in this heart of mine like an inscription on a metal. Or even better God’s inscription on my heart.
I have hidden your word in my heart that I may not sin against You. Psalms 119:11